Death

Rape me
Rape me my friend
-"Rape Me" Nirvana


My head is pounding
Heart beating fast
I try to stand
But only collapse

I try to see
but only see black
I tried to stop
But now I'm back

Faces surround
As I gasp for air
I lay on the ground
And can only stare

As I fall far away
From misery and pain
I got my pay
And I'm finally sane

Blank Slate

I don't have a girlfriend
And in this I am glad
No one to make me feel like shit
No one to make me feel sad

I'm happy as hell
Just being alone
No one to hate me
Or fight on the phone

Curses to those who can not wait
For the perfect person
For the perfect mate

Curses to me, for I had no patience
Rushed into it blind
Without reservations

I'm glad right now
That I have nobody

Regardless of health
Happiness, or money

I am sure I will one day regret

My actions towards you, and yet

I feel nothing.

Carry Me

Sometimes I lose hope
In the people that I need most

Sometimes I need a friend
And I yell into a hole

Where does everybody go
To make me feel so alone?

And where will I end up?
In a hole with an empty cup?

I cry out to you
Please hear me through

I need a friend
Because I've got a lot to do

The weather brings me down
And no one hears a sound

I'm cold and alone
And there's no one on the phone

I could call you
I could see if you are there

But how do I know
If you want to talk to me?

I just need a shoulder
Someone to make me bolder

So I can say what I feel
Without fear of ridicule or sneers

Help me make it through this
Help me to stay strong

I have no religion, no God
And I don't feel I am wrong

But I know one of these days
I'll be more alone than I am now

Raindrops hitting rooftops
And no one hears a sound

So I will keep silently screaming
And I will keep loudly dreaming

Of someone
To carry
Me through this
Hell.

An Apology And A Hello

An apology
And a hello
May be all it takes
To revive
An old friendship
And a love on the side

An apology
And a hello
Can go farther than you know
I wish that it was easy
For me
To let you go

Now as I write this
I realize it
Sounds like I am
In love with you

I'm not in love with anyone
I don't even love myself
I'm dreading heaven
And I'm hoping for hell

An apology
And a hello
Is all I ask of you

Someday you will see
The same things that I see
Until then
We'll be friends
And I couldn't ask for more.

Peace!

Love cancels love
Cancels love
I don't love three different women
I never could explain my history
Your insecurities drive me wild
And eventually drama gets a bit old
No one wants to hear about you
With your lies and your boys
And your made up tattoo
No one gives a shit what you have to say
So leave me alone
Fuck with me some other day
You write shit on purpose
To make me mad
I ignore that garbage
Libelous comments never made me sad
It's just a bit annoying
That you were once my wife
If I could go back in time
I never would have stepped in your shit
Now it's tracked across the carpet
And no matter how hard I try to scrub
It wont come out. It won't come out.
I can't wait til I'm free
From this misery
You will never find me
I'll just be another part of your history.

Ring The Bell

Thorazine is needed
To keep you straight
Crazy bitches
Are just part
of my fate

Who can relate?
Who can tell me how it is
Wish I never did that shit
But this is how it is

Someone tell me why I try
Someone tell me why she lies
Someone tell me 'bout jealousy
That green eyed monster
For you and me

Why can't I live in peace
With my liquor and smokes?
When will you cease
Turning life into jokes?

Don't play with my fucking head
Someone's gonna wind up dead
It won't be me, I'll put up a fight
I'll stay alive, just out of spite

I wanna make someones life
A living fucking hell
I never wanted a wife
Who would take off her gloves
and ring the bell

Homesick

'Cause I'm homesick
For the home I've never had
-"Homesick" Soul Asylum


I'm homesick
But I can't go home
For home doesn't exist
For one like me

I would rather be on the road
Nomadic and never home
And I want to feel alone
Instead of being a drone

I can't escape this feeling
Of being around and needing
To keep up the facade
And never spare the rod

Where could my home be?
I'm sick with fascination
An unquenchable fantasy
To escape castration

Because although we believe
That the dream is in our grasp
There is no sympathy
For ones killed by this asp

It slithers and it tries
To kill our lives
And if you stay in this place
Then all that is, is disgrace

I'm homesick but I could never
Go home to that hell
Where everything is in order
And chaos is never the norm

Home is where the heart is
But this heart is moving on
Will I ever be consoled?
Or will I feel empty when I am old?

So live for today
There may not be a 'morrow
If you can sit and stay
All you will know is this sorrow