I don't know. I'm tired.

I wish that I could tell you something
That you ain't never heard before
But I am so unoriginal
And I keep trying to think of more

I can't help what I feel for you
Or the things you make me want to do
I can't help these thoughts I know
Can only mean that I love you so

Ugh.

I saw you at the bar tonight. I saw you getting drunker by the minute. You asked me how I'm doing and, because I'm a liar, answered, "Good as always, how about you?" I'm sure you didn't answer. If you did, I don't remember. I love you more than I love myself. I know you're a married woman. I know I am not in your top 20 list of priorities. I know I have more baggage than you could ever put up with. But I wish I could tell you what I wish for on a nightly basis. I don't pray. If prayer worked... life would be completely different... and I might actually not be writing about you. So I wish... it does the same thing as prayer, I just don't have to talk to an imaginary man. I can't ever stop thinking about you. I hate being away from you. I'm starting to hate being around you... not because I don't absolutely adore you, I just know you don't care.

So this is the end of my sad story from tonight I guess. I went over to another tab and forgot I was writing this. You know I'm going to have feelings for you until the day I die. And I am prepared to deal with that.

I love you and good night.