Old man,
Why are you sitting there?
Up on your porch,
With your viagra in the air.
Whistling at the girls,
As they pepper spray your ass.
The smoke from the joint twirls,
As you blow it out your mouth with sass.
Young man,
Why are you so dumb?
You're asking stupid questions,
Why did you come?
As for the chicks,
Well...now that I have my pills,
I hope they like dicks,
Because I'm going to ride them into the hills.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Elephants: (If you read it...comment!)
Why Oh Why?
Would An Elephant Eat A Mouse?
Is It Because,
He Wants To Be As Large As A House?
He Already Is,
Quite Quite Large...
Any Bigger,
And He'd Need A Barge,
To Get From Home
To The Store,
Or From His Bed
To The Front Door.
So Why Does He Feel
The Need To Eat
A Small Rodent,
He Could Kill With His Feet?
Is It Because Of The Need
To Feel Big?
Or Does He Really
Want To Be A Pig?
Would An Elephant Eat A Mouse?
Is It Because,
He Wants To Be As Large As A House?
He Already Is,
Quite Quite Large...
Any Bigger,
And He'd Need A Barge,
To Get From Home
To The Store,
Or From His Bed
To The Front Door.
So Why Does He Feel
The Need To Eat
A Small Rodent,
He Could Kill With His Feet?
Is It Because Of The Need
To Feel Big?
Or Does He Really
Want To Be A Pig?
How Pirates Got Herpes Back In The Day: (If you read it...comment!)
Way back, in 1692
There was a pirate bold,
Whos name I never knew,
But to me, this story was told.
One bright sunny day,
After sailing ten miles,
Under the sun, the pirate crew lay
Out on the deck, on top of some tiles.
One man said ARRRR, im feeling gay,
And another said,
Well, thats ok
Let me take you to bed.
So off they went,
Let me tell you,
And six hours they spent,
Doing the wahoo.
Now one of the men,
I shant say which,
Told the other right then
"One time I banged a bitch...
"This bitch was dirty,
I knew that but,
She was awful flirty,
And into her my manhood cut.
"Now after we were done,
She told me
Hey hon,
I've got the HERPE!
"Then I was scared silly
That I may have got the disease
That made my willy,
Look like swiss cheese.
"I went to the doc
He told me what I feared,
I would have a bloddy cock,
That at which women leered.
"So I went on my way
And to spread this ill,
I became a gay,
To further herpes still.
"Now my friend,
that you have this condition
Go out with this disease and send,
It to all of your friends by shagging without permission."
There was a pirate bold,
Whos name I never knew,
But to me, this story was told.
One bright sunny day,
After sailing ten miles,
Under the sun, the pirate crew lay
Out on the deck, on top of some tiles.
One man said ARRRR, im feeling gay,
And another said,
Well, thats ok
Let me take you to bed.
So off they went,
Let me tell you,
And six hours they spent,
Doing the wahoo.
Now one of the men,
I shant say which,
Told the other right then
"One time I banged a bitch...
"This bitch was dirty,
I knew that but,
She was awful flirty,
And into her my manhood cut.
"Now after we were done,
She told me
Hey hon,
I've got the HERPE!
"Then I was scared silly
That I may have got the disease
That made my willy,
Look like swiss cheese.
"I went to the doc
He told me what I feared,
I would have a bloddy cock,
That at which women leered.
"So I went on my way
And to spread this ill,
I became a gay,
To further herpes still.
"Now my friend,
that you have this condition
Go out with this disease and send,
It to all of your friends by shagging without permission."
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