Reaction

Tattoos are taboo
If they don't mean a thing to you
"Prove my love to you?"
I know the truth
I've seen the side
Of you, you try to hide
I have nothing to hide
I shout from the roof
We fought nail and tooth
But now I'm happy
Without you
I don't need a thing
I don't need a ring
I, unlike you
Can be happy that its through
I unlike you
Can be happy with the fact
That I am me
And me is I
I could touch the sky
Because I'm so high
Don't need a woman
To make me feel good
I just need a bottle
And to put up my hood
Protect from the cold
From the snow
But it's still warmer
Than any love
That I have ever known

Walk-A-Long

Shame fails to amount
the taste in your mouth
The drops of acid
On your tongue
Brings way to song
In this walk-a-long
Dripping on down
To the downtown
Bringing in the ghost town
Killing everyone
Avoiding the sun
Drop to your knees
And you beg me please
I'll never look back
Til you're living in a shack
In your Podunk town
Listening to the sound
Of your brain cells crying
And the babies dyin
And no one wants you here
In this place I hold dear.
Take advantage of your fear
I live off your tears.

Hamster Wheel

Sobriety is an illumination
Illuminated by the essence
Of the effervescent demons
Brought on by the plague
Dragged to the bottom
Of the rocky ledge of pain
Rocky mountain sunshine
Bring on the moonshine
Drop it to the knees
Of our civil liberties
I can't explain myself
And I'm in poor health
I feel like death
When I take another breath
And I'll never feel your pain
But I have my own reign
To look over, glance over
Bring a part of me back
I can't stop the attack
Of the superficial
Omni - Potent
Reach-a-round
Bring it around
To escape
It's the easy fate
The prison release date
I can't help what I write
I mostly do it out of spite
I can't help what I feel
On this fucked up hamster wheel.

Dead To You

I spend more time crying
Than I spend awake
I cry in my sleep
Each night and day
I wish this pain would go away
But all I can do is just say

I wish you were here
And I'll always hold you dear
But you left me high and dry
And I always wondered why
I never had closure,
Never gave it a thought
Til I fell down and was broken
And I had nowhere to go
And now I just need you to tell me
I need to know

Why did you leave me all those years ago?
Why do you hate me after all this time?
What did I do to you to make you pissed?
To make you hate me. To be dismissed.

I wish I was someone else
A fucking Guido sitting in a club
I could grab your attention
Maybe even get a rub

But you don't even know what I look like anymore
But I remember how you smelled, all those years before
Before you were clubbing, and drinking all night
Back when we'd talk on the phone and never fight

I wish you could tell me just how you feel
But you're evasive about all that is real
I need you right now, and you blow me off
I hope I fucking die, but that might piss you off

Privacy

I am a private person
Generally
Hiding behind fancy phrases
Eventually
Leading me to a person whom
Thankfully
Might understand and lend a hand

I want my opinions heard
Vocalized
But I want my family life
Privatized
Maybe you can help me be freed
Chastised
Is always how I look out of these two eyes

Free me from my
Sanctuary
Chained to the cage of this
Tabernacle
Of sin and hate, you can't relate
Just let me go
And let go of your fate.

Dreams (It's a work in progress)

Dreams are crushed every day
You're not good enough
But you're great in every way

I don't have enough energy to say
What these fucks don't want you to hear
It's all about who they want to pay
And they just want you to disappear

We may not have college degrees
But that is just fine with me
We'll make it on our own
Somehow
We may not have the highest SAT's
But that is just fine with me
We'll figure it out on our own
Somehow

Dreams are crushed and they expect you to stay
In the same job, fucking day after day
Tell 'em off, tell 'em you don't want their greed

Because that's all the businesses want from you
They only want you to do what they tell you to
But I know we can be, better than that

We may not have college degrees
But that is just fine with me
We'll make it on our own
Somehow
We may not have the highest SAT's
But that is just fine with me
We'll figure it out on our own
Somehow

Death

Rape me
Rape me my friend
-"Rape Me" Nirvana


My head is pounding
Heart beating fast
I try to stand
But only collapse

I try to see
but only see black
I tried to stop
But now I'm back

Faces surround
As I gasp for air
I lay on the ground
And can only stare

As I fall far away
From misery and pain
I got my pay
And I'm finally sane

Blank Slate

I don't have a girlfriend
And in this I am glad
No one to make me feel like shit
No one to make me feel sad

I'm happy as hell
Just being alone
No one to hate me
Or fight on the phone

Curses to those who can not wait
For the perfect person
For the perfect mate

Curses to me, for I had no patience
Rushed into it blind
Without reservations

I'm glad right now
That I have nobody

Regardless of health
Happiness, or money

I am sure I will one day regret

My actions towards you, and yet

I feel nothing.

Carry Me

Sometimes I lose hope
In the people that I need most

Sometimes I need a friend
And I yell into a hole

Where does everybody go
To make me feel so alone?

And where will I end up?
In a hole with an empty cup?

I cry out to you
Please hear me through

I need a friend
Because I've got a lot to do

The weather brings me down
And no one hears a sound

I'm cold and alone
And there's no one on the phone

I could call you
I could see if you are there

But how do I know
If you want to talk to me?

I just need a shoulder
Someone to make me bolder

So I can say what I feel
Without fear of ridicule or sneers

Help me make it through this
Help me to stay strong

I have no religion, no God
And I don't feel I am wrong

But I know one of these days
I'll be more alone than I am now

Raindrops hitting rooftops
And no one hears a sound

So I will keep silently screaming
And I will keep loudly dreaming

Of someone
To carry
Me through this
Hell.

An Apology And A Hello

An apology
And a hello
May be all it takes
To revive
An old friendship
And a love on the side

An apology
And a hello
Can go farther than you know
I wish that it was easy
For me
To let you go

Now as I write this
I realize it
Sounds like I am
In love with you

I'm not in love with anyone
I don't even love myself
I'm dreading heaven
And I'm hoping for hell

An apology
And a hello
Is all I ask of you

Someday you will see
The same things that I see
Until then
We'll be friends
And I couldn't ask for more.

Peace!

Love cancels love
Cancels love
I don't love three different women
I never could explain my history
Your insecurities drive me wild
And eventually drama gets a bit old
No one wants to hear about you
With your lies and your boys
And your made up tattoo
No one gives a shit what you have to say
So leave me alone
Fuck with me some other day
You write shit on purpose
To make me mad
I ignore that garbage
Libelous comments never made me sad
It's just a bit annoying
That you were once my wife
If I could go back in time
I never would have stepped in your shit
Now it's tracked across the carpet
And no matter how hard I try to scrub
It wont come out. It won't come out.
I can't wait til I'm free
From this misery
You will never find me
I'll just be another part of your history.

Ring The Bell

Thorazine is needed
To keep you straight
Crazy bitches
Are just part
of my fate

Who can relate?
Who can tell me how it is
Wish I never did that shit
But this is how it is

Someone tell me why I try
Someone tell me why she lies
Someone tell me 'bout jealousy
That green eyed monster
For you and me

Why can't I live in peace
With my liquor and smokes?
When will you cease
Turning life into jokes?

Don't play with my fucking head
Someone's gonna wind up dead
It won't be me, I'll put up a fight
I'll stay alive, just out of spite

I wanna make someones life
A living fucking hell
I never wanted a wife
Who would take off her gloves
and ring the bell

Homesick

'Cause I'm homesick
For the home I've never had
-"Homesick" Soul Asylum


I'm homesick
But I can't go home
For home doesn't exist
For one like me

I would rather be on the road
Nomadic and never home
And I want to feel alone
Instead of being a drone

I can't escape this feeling
Of being around and needing
To keep up the facade
And never spare the rod

Where could my home be?
I'm sick with fascination
An unquenchable fantasy
To escape castration

Because although we believe
That the dream is in our grasp
There is no sympathy
For ones killed by this asp

It slithers and it tries
To kill our lives
And if you stay in this place
Then all that is, is disgrace

I'm homesick but I could never
Go home to that hell
Where everything is in order
And chaos is never the norm

Home is where the heart is
But this heart is moving on
Will I ever be consoled?
Or will I feel empty when I am old?

So live for today
There may not be a 'morrow
If you can sit and stay
All you will know is this sorrow

When I Get Old

I finally figured it out.

I'm going to die alone.

Forgotten and forlorn.

Let my cats feast on me

And the nurse finds my body

I'll be sitting in my chair

Waiting for the coroner

To take me away

And toss me in the bay

Let me sink to the bottom

Alone and forgotten.

Sleazy

I read what you wrote
And now I know
I'm not a rockstar
Not by far

I read what you wrote
And now I know
I'm not a husband
Not even a friend

I read what she wrote
And now I know
I'm not anything
So that's why I sing

I'm giving up now
That's why I'm writing this
To let you all know
That you'll be missed

But not for long
Only to the end
Of my next song

Because this road leads no where
And the days will never end
All you bring is loneliness, my friends

I wish we were
But we're not

If I could go back
I wouldn't give it
another shot

This shit keeps repeating
That's why I can
Write a poem to three
Different women

I loved you all at one time in my life
But all it brought me
was to the edge of a knife
So I'm letting you know
Once again
Thanks for everything
I'll never do that shit again.